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never_too_thinANA
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Name: never_too_thinANA
Gender: Female
Interests: going to the gym, not eating, thinking about not eating, thinking about eating or when I will be forced to, spanish, anything having to do with Latin America, foreign languages and culture. I love watching dancing even though I can't dance. I would give anything to be in ballet.
Expertise: Knowing stupid stuff that will never come in handy...like random shit. I'm semi-fluent in spanish. Good at dropping and gaining weight.
Occupation: Nursing
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/2/2004
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| After writing to my professor last night once again (yes, I am psycho and can't help it) and told him that I would like to come talk to him during his office hours to talk about the test, I received an email back saying he sent in for the grade change already. I have no idea what that grade change is. I have to imagine it mirrors my friends, since I stated in a previous email that we had the same total points etc...she got a B as I said before. I don't want to get my hopes up and don't know what to expect, shit for all I know he may have lowered it because I'm annoying ha! I doubt this, but it does come in my mind. I was thinking about it SO much last night that I couldn't get to sleep until 3am. The grade change didn't show today, but how the system is at my college it takes a few days..in fact I still have yet to receive my grade for a nursing class I took (although I know I got an A in that because it is posted on the class site). Anyway, here is to hoping!!
My grandma is going into a retina specialist today. SHe has diabetes and has lost her one eye, so they are trying to make it so she doesn't go entirely blind in her "good eye." She can only see shadows with this eye. It makes me sick to think that she might lose this eye. THey said that her cataract wasn't ready to perform surgery on and in the meanwhile she is just losing everything in that one eye. My mom lives with her, so she is there for her 24/7 if she needs something or to go somewhere. My mom said that my grandma cries when she talked about it (the fact that she may go totally blind). It makes me sad. I fell asleep praying for her last night. My grandma is my second mom, she half raised me. I never went to daycare, just to grandma's. Ugh. I just bought my ticket to go home for 3 weeks the end of Aug, so I can't wait to see her. I hope they find something they can improve when looking at her retina.
EDIT: I just got notice that the grade change was approved by the Dean...it will change to a B! I couldn't be happier! I really can't believe it. | | |
| Well, I am never good enough for myself. I got 3 As and a C+...a fucking loser ass C+. I cried the entire day yesterday over that damn C+. I still can't believe it . I emailed my prof and everything, so he is going to check my scored compared to my friend (who is in public health) and she got a B. It is just a C range is HORRIBLE. I don't know if I will get accepted now. My total GPA for the yr is 3.75, but that isn't good enough in my mind. For some reason I think they'll take a look at that C+ and say DENIED. I am sick over this, nightmares constantly when I sleep etc. I know I sound crazy, maybe I am. Such a failure. I am so disgusted and disappointed in myself. :( | | |
| It has been SO long since my last entry. My finals ended yesterday and at the end I felt numb because I was working so hard for so long. I have 1.5 weeks off until summer classes start and I'm not doing a damn thing today. Over the past semester I wanted to hit the gym, but so much got in the way of that. UGH. I just bought a gym pass that would last me through the summer (since my University is about 25 min away and that is just too out of the way for me right now and with summer schedule I need something close). SoOO the gym i am going to has classes and cardio machines..everything actually. I can start on the 12th, so I am going to let myself relax here for a couple days and then get it shape. I am going to Mexico mid August..so I need to get toned up fairly fast. I may be picking up a few shift as well, so the physical aspect of my job will help get my ass into shape too.
Classes went well this semester. Chemistry was horrible, but we will see what my grade it. No matter the time I spent on that it was never enough. So depressing. I need about a 3.7 to get into the program...so I am just waiting here for my grades. I have a 3.875 now, so it is a bit stressful when I look at the page that declares what grade I had. Plus, I want to apply for scholarships and they only accept the best of the best. My husband was SO sweet yesterday. After driving me (usually I take the train) to my first final he's like...Good luck today (I had 3 in a row yesterday)..I'm said, Ohhh yeah, nothing to it and just laughed. I was seriously on the brink of losing my mind with all the stress, but when it got to finals actually happening I was overcome with calmness. Anyway, he had to put up with my shit for the past week or so and when he picked me up at the end of the day he was smiling. I told him that I'm so exhausted and was happy I was done for the yr. We got to our place and he said he's going to the grocery store and asked me to take his coat in (later he said he thought I'd say why/no haha) and under his coat he had a huge bouquet of tulips :) I instantly started crying . He's like I"m so proud of you, you worked so hard. I said, I haven't even gotten my grades yet..what if I don't get in.. He's like I know you will be a nurse. HOW nice is that?! Then he made me supper later that night. He's like I have my wife back and was all in a good mood haha
I'm going to go clean the place and watch a movie. Feels great to relax | | |
| In the library now doing my Chem. My husband got a call back regarding a job he applied to, so hopefully he will the official invite for an interview within the next couple days. He was SO excited. I keep thinking about one of the things for this job is to live in NY. ugh. It is in NYC..so since I will continue my schooling in NJ I will have to commute by public transport from wherever we live. I am not enthused about his since my close commute now takes me longer than what I wanted due to waiting for the train and bus etc already. I was telling him about that. .. he didn't like hearing it. I guess I wouldn't either. I just think about how expensive the rent will be (although I was looking around and there are some "affordable" ones..we will still be pinching by AS USUAL). I think I"ve come to a time in my life where I am sick of living in crappy places and putting up with neighbors that make noise. ALTHOUGH I must say (knock on wood) that since the last time we called the cops on our neighbors (which was the 4th time) they have been quiet. We still have water damage to our ceiling that our landlord hasn't taken care of but is fully aware of. I don't know, I guess I"m being picky. I said to my hubs last night...I wish the moving was moving back home (to where my fam is in the midwest haha) and he said he didn't think that was happening. I pretty much have to agree with that. I have 3 more years of school after this semester. I just need to get through this semester with a high GPA, last semester I missed a 4.0 by a B+ from a prof you knew never gave out As...gotta love it. If I continue that though I make it into the program for sure. I hate thinking about commuting for 1.5 hrs in the morning and the same at night. I will do it though, because it makes him happy and it is city job and will probably bloom into something better. Oh life. Where did my dream of having a house and a career by now go..with 2.5 children a couple cats and a fence go? Oh yeah, right out the window when I f-ed up studying something pointless the first time around. I will end this now. I know life isn't perfect. My father alone has been telling me that since I was born practically, but one can have dreams. That is just what they are though..dreams. My one dream of making it through nursing school will be fulfilled.I am making this happen for me. | | |
| So..today was a pretty hard day at work. It didn't start out like that even though we worked short. You know those people at work (or not at work, just in general) who think they know what you should do, what your next step should be and argue that you are doing the wrong thing and you should do this? I was basically ganged up on by this bitch nurse (who actually isn't great) and this other guy who I always talk to. He mentioned how I shouldn't waste my time with public health classes (I have to take 24 credits at my school and then apply and hopefully get into the nursing prog)..he said I should take finance instead and the other nurse said I should take my pre reqs at a comm college to save money and then transfer in (which I really don't think you can do at the college I"m at, because I was told)and she was just brutal and bombarded me saying that I am wasting my money etc. I calculated out how much I'd save and it is like 5k...SO FUCKING WHAT? Is it that much of a big deal to change my path because you said I could save 5k. PLUS, did I mention that YOU are having a hard time getting a job, whereas with my program there are places around here that will only hire nurses from the place that I will graduate from. ..what does that say? I am not looking for something simple and to get me wherever. I want quality because a good masters program will not take just anyone. I just HATE it when people shove their view down your throat..and they just won't let up. Ohh and I never once asked their opinion. In my car on the way home I almost started crying because when someone comes at you like that..it is just overwhelming!! ugh, ruined my mood...but I shouldn't let it. | | |
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